UNITED WE STAND
The last post I wrote was titled “Divided We Stand- For Now,” Things have certainly changed since then.
I haven’t changed the quote on my home page for months: “Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself. Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interests, but about the interests of others as well. Philippians 2:3-4”
This quote/message embodies my aunt, Beatriz, who is no longer physically present with us- and if I haven’t changed it since her passing it is because I haven’t been ready to address what this means to me.
Just this week, I had a dream where she resurrected before my eyes. She winked and smiled at me in my dream before she woke up and started her day- and I have to tell you that in all my years I have never experienced something like that before. I woke up crying as if she had just passed the night before. It was awful but at the same time beautiful because I knew that she was there with me. If anyone understood what I was going through in that moment it would have been her.
All those years, when she was alive she would talk to me about family- those words of wisdom came flooding in. I woke up enlightened…I had my “Aha” moment.
My aunt took care of my Great Grandmother - she lived with my aunt until the day that she died, and it was never something that I thought twice about until now. My aunt, sacrificed, (even though she would never call it a sacrifice), her life to be a caretaker. My aunt was the personification of a selfless being.
Nothing mattered more to her than family. And in a time where we have had to practice social distancing the thing that has affected me the most is not being close to the ones that I hold close and dear here in the USA.
I haven’t worked out in two months. Not because I couldn’t - I have all the equipment to do so. But how can I workout when the world around me is collapsing? I can’t take a run when I know that millions of Americans are out of work. I can’t turn my living room into a home gym. My family in Venezuela is having a difficult time - I can’t be with all the ones I love- what does staying in shape matter now?
Call me weak. But it has been hard on me.
I am on the verge of turning 40 in August- in the middle of a pandemic. I’ve been pissed. I’ve been depressed. I’ve been confused. I’ve been helpless. I've been reflective. Where do we go from here?
Today I called my boss - I said I am coming to work on Monday. I am coming to work not only for myself but for my clients.
We have a unique gift as humans and that is to adapt. The last few months my life and the lives of Millions of Americans has been nothing what they thought it would be.
BUT we have a gift- we have life.
And the gift of life allows us to rebuild.
And the gift of life will hopefully allow us to rebuild together. So whether we are “family” or not I hope that anyone that reads this feels that “United We Stand,” and that we can all rebuild together.”
