Reflections…

I just finished reading The Coaching Habit Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever by, Michael Bungay Stanier and out of everything I have read thus far about leadership and coaching I found it to be very insightful. I also feel that many of the principles in this book can be applied not just at work but also in our personal lives.

There are several things that stood out but this particular statement is what really resonated:

“People don’t really learn when you tell them something.

They don’t even really learn when they do something.

They start learning, start creating new neural pathways, only when they have a chance to recall and reflect on what just happened.” (Stanier, 2016, p. 187)

It resonated for a few reasons, mainly because my moments of growth and evolution have typically come when I am not only removed from a situation but have the opportunity to truly reflect on what happened, why it happened, and how. My reflection comes from the books I read, the many conversations I have and the enormous amount of time I spend thinking and replaying various scenarios over and over again.

This is true in my work life as much as it is in my personal life. When you learn you can change your behaviors and create new habits, a new way of thinking, being etc…

I firmly believe that we all have the ability for growth and evolution if you are willing to give yourself some grace and put in the work. In a professional environment it’s the duty of our managers and leaders to provide a safe environment that allows people the space and time to learn from both your failures and achievements. In our personal lives our partners commitment to the relationship should also provide a safe environment for vulnerability, understanding, communication and change.

A more personal takeaway that came to mind while reading this book is that I had 100% overcommitted myself in my previous employment and was knee deep in a pattern I am now just beginning to see and reflect on. That pattern affected my work relationships as much as it did my interpersonal ones. Yet, it’s one that I am now conscious of and can hopefully not repeat.

This book provides easy tools that can help us all do that both at work and at home. While work relationships and interpersonal ones are very different, being aware of how we communicate, how we are triggered, and how the questions we ask can help deepen understanding.

Understanding that ultimately can lead to being a better listener, manager, leader and partner.