FEAR EVERYTHING…
Front and center on my site I have a quote from Rosa Parks, touching base on the idea that once your mind is made up about something that your fear is diminished. I am sure it is a quote that many of you can relate to and to some extent I agree with her. But after a recent conversation with my friend Brian Levenson, who is a Mental Performance Coach, I began to view fear as either a motivator or a debilitater (Yes, I made that up- but you all get it!).
Discussing why I like to stay in shape I provided all the generic answers one can give; it's good for me, helps me stay healthy, I like it etc...but at the core of it there is some fear there. Fear of getting out of shape, fear of gaining weight, fear of not being attractive (yes, there is some vanity there)...and I suppose fear of dying-since if you don't work on your health the long term ramifications could result in an early death or at least the very possibility that you don't age gracefully. I never really outright admitted that until that conversation and now I am immortalizing it by putting it in writing. Talk to professional athletes and some will tell you that what keeps them motivated is the will to win, fear of losing, fear of failure, etc...Of course, there are other determining factors but the component of fear is still always present.
I'd argue that in these instances fear is a motivating factor for discipline, dedication, structure and the will to continue no matter what. Personally, I do really enjoy staying in shape. I enjoy my training sessions. I enjoy having a constant in my life that pushes me to work on myself and be creative; plus I am good at it. But this is fear as a motivator...flip the coin and fear at the same time can be debilitating.
When fear debilitates, it can hinder, weaken or all together halt you from acting/doing. Fear can stop us from speaking our minds, can stop us from standing up for what we believe in, can cause us to feel stuck, or even worse powerless. When fear debilitates it holds us back- we know this, we have been told this over and over again. There are countless books written about fear.
Sometimes its presence is front and center other times it creeps up on us when we least expect it. It's important to recognize the distinction between one and the other other as well as which type of fear you are allowing to actively be a driving force in your daily life.
If fear is debilitating you from quitting the job you hate, ending a relationship that you know is way past its due date, or keeping you from starting your fitness goals, then it's not the kind of fear you want because it ends up overpowering you. Yet, taking ownership of that same fear and owning it, making up your mind, determined that it (fear) won't have power over you means that you can easily turn the situation around to be a motivating factor...just like that!
So instead of giving the same lame answer that I don't fear anything, moving forward I am going to say I fear everything...because I do, to some extent fear is inherit. The question becomes: "Is the fear that exists within me every day motivating me or is it debilitating me?"
At the end of the day it's a feeling, it's real, I won't argue that but like all other feelings they come and go. It's why they say all you have to fear is fear itself. Make the distinction between which fear is a driving force in your life and you might begin to surprise yourself with the changes you make.
Here is a TED Talk I like that discusses taking the very concept of facing your fears turning them into a motivating force for change. Enjoy!
