LOVE TO HATE-HATE TO LOVE
There aren't too many pieces of technology that I at times loathe more than my cell phone(s). Yes, I have multiple ones, mainly because I believe in keeping work and business as separate as possible. But being with the same company for 15 years those boundaries tend to get blurred from time to time. Nevertheless, I have always done my best to try to keep both separate even though that doesn't always happen.
Before I get into why I have started to loathe my mobile devices let me start by saying I have ALWAYS loved phones. There is a picture that my mother has of me as a baby holding our home phone. I used to call Santa Claus over and over again, much to my parents' surprise when they saw the phone bill...I vaguely remember getting in trouble for that one, or it could have been the Easter Bunny! They kept telling me to call back; I was simply just following instructions :)
So my love affair started when I was young and continued well into my teenage years. And while attending University 9/11 happened, which prompted me to finally purchase my own cell phone. My logic was pretty simple back then. It was such a frantic time trying to get a hold of loved ones that day that being able to have a device where I could be reached and reach others in case of an emergency seemed pretty logical.
Fast-forward to 2018 where I still feel it's nice to have a device where I can be reached in case of an emergency and vice versa. BUT more often than not there are plenty of moments I envision just taking my smart phones and throwing them deep into whatever body of water I can. I never could have imagined the stress, pressure, anxiety, highs and lows a mobile device would cause me. But they do indeed cause me to be stressed, anxious, and always on my toes. I never know what I am going to be met with when I wake up.
Part of this has to do with my line or work but the other part of it is that's just people. You never know what people are going to do, say, or act and now I get to be on the receiving end of that every single day 24/7. Not to mention all the social media applications we have now as a way to stay "connected," which is a whole other blog post or two or three...
The past two years my love to hate-hate to love relationship with my mobile devices has intensified. I stopped wanting the latest and greatest. Oh, the new i-Phone is being released? That's great, I have mine that works just fine-I might wait another year. Six years ago or even 3 years ago I would have been checking out all the specs figuring out when I could get my hands on one. Sorry Apple, you don't get my $700+ yearly anymore.
I started to set boundaries with work. You call me when I am at the gym, now you may get a text reply: "I am at the gym now can I call you when I am done? Unless it's an emergency, I can call you now." Generally, I get a response that is along the lines of: "No worries, take your time, get back to me when you are done. Have a great workout." Now, I know I could simply just not have the phone around when I work out, or I could turn the Do Not Disturb on, I get all of that. I know the problem is the user a.k.a. me not the device.
However, my point is I have gradually become more aware of how burdened I feel by my mobile devices. Something I never thought about all those years I couldn't wait to get my hands on the latest and greatest. But so many years being attached to my devices at the mercy of everyone and their mother 24/7 brought me to this point. Something had to give.
A few months ago I saw a 60 Minutes Segment titled: "Hooked on your phone: Texts and notifications, anxiety and phantom vibrations — Anderson Cooper talks about the impact smartphones have on your state of mind."
After watching this I immediately turned off most of my notifications. A week later I broke off another love to hate-hate to love relationship. Tired of the burden of checking the phone for notifications, messages, and e-mails as if any of that meant anything...I said: "¡NO MÀS!" That was the beginning of the end for me. It was over.
All this to say, I think it's important for our own mental health, stability and daily life that we start to become more aware of how we interact with others using our mobile devices and how that makes us feel. Mental health is just as important as physical. So in my journey to become a better version of myself my relationship with my devices is one I am constantly trying to work on. It's a daily struggle for me, all these years of being "on demand" 24/7 has taken its toll and so slowly I started to take steps to curb those feelings of anxiety. Some of the things I have done include:
Turning on the DND at 11pm (bed time) and subsequently not turning it off well until after I am awake and have started my day.
Turning on the DND when I am working out - not always great at this but I try.
Turning off almost all notifications and alerts- I don't need to know everything in real time.
Not always wearing my apple watch- but if I am I silence the alerts on that as well.
If any of my coworkers write me on the weekend and the matter isn't urgent I remind them it's the weekend and we can talk about it on Monday.
Not answering any work related e-mails on weekends that can wait until weekend is over.
Being mindful of when I initiate conversation with someone- I ask myself the following: "What time of day is it? Is it really urgent? "Can it wait?"
Taking my time responding to text messages- not everything needs my attention right away.
This list is ever changing and growing. Far from perfect I totally acknowledge that in my ways I am addicted to my devices affecting my general mood and daily life. So every day I try to do my part to break the cycle not always succeeding but definitely more aware. It's part of my journey to be healthy and well rounded in all aspects of my life.
Something to think about as you all examine your own relationship with your mobile/smart devices.
