TODAY’S WEAKNESS IS TOMORROW’S STRENGTH
It never occurred to me that one of the reasons people may not seek the help they need to make changes in their lifestyle is because it opens yourself up to being vulnerable. It means you have now just exposed yourself. You have shown a weakness, a need...not a failure, per say, but a lack of...Yet, at the same time, exposing yourself also shows an immense sense of strength. A risk- a chance...an opening of possibilities, maybe even without any expectations. None of this ever occurred to me because when it comes to fitness I am blessed with natural athleticism. I never have had to work too hard to pick things up. I remember learning how to do the butterfly as a child just by once watching an instructor and next thing you know I was off swimming doing the butterfly. Playing with the boys was just what I did- and beating them was not a big deal. I would skip lunch in high school to play basketball. I would also skip Spanish school classes on Saturday to play in the gym alone, and often in high school I would take extended bathroom breaks and go to whatever P.E. session was going on. If you were to meet anyone from my past no one at all would be surprised to know or hear that fitness is still very much part of my daily life and routine.
This is all relevant because over a year ago I was approached by my friend Ashley who at that time knew very little about me, and I of her, but who wanted me to be her "accountability buddy" as she embarked on a journey to change not just her lifestyle habits but fitness as well. I was quite surprised by the question, because I wasn't sure what being an accountable buddy meant and entailed, but I agreed with one caveat. Ashley HAD to workout with me once a week and in return Ashley would cook us dinner. She agreed and so began our weekly routine of working out together. My other condition, she had to complete whatever I planned for that workout. She could curse me out, whine, complain, sing, I don't care...but whatever we started we had to complete. If that meant that whatever I had planned took longer than an hour then so be it. Typically our sessions lasted about an hour and a half but never more than two hours and yes, she finished every single one of them!
Little did Ashley know that while her body and mind where changing mine was as well. We were both challenging each other to be better versions of ourselves. Up until that moment I had never had to plan an actual workout for someone else other than myself nor did I ever really think about the how's and the why's behind other people's lifestyle/habits or relationship with food. Ashley 100% made herself vulnerable to me and because of that gift I felt an immense sense of responsibility to follow through on my word to be the best "accountability buddy" I could be. I also felt an immense sense of responsibility to not just train her but to also try and understand who she is and how she got here.
We started in September 2016 and continued well through that spring/summer. All in all, Ashley ended up losing close to 40lbs with me and while that in itself is an accomplishment I believe the most important lesson learned was that she "could" do it. Ashley, knew that she needed outside help, took a huge risk, making herself vulnerable to a relative stranger at the time and came out at the other end not just proving to herself that she could shed the weight but also proving to herself that whatever you truly put your mind to you can accomplish. Albeit, the physical changes were apparent there were so many other changes that organically happened and spilled over into other aspects of her life. Ashley found a life partner, is engaged to be married, and exuded a newfound confidence that I may selfishly say she didn't really have until we embarked on our journey.
On my end, with every milestone Ashley achieved, I felt more and more in touch with the core of what I stand for, which is helping others when you can. I never imagined that something that has always been natural to me, which is my athleticism, would lead to impacting someone else's life the way I did. This is after all what I happen to just to do day in and day out on my own. While I take the workouts I plan for myself seriously my approach to fitness has certainly changed over the course of the years. No longer do I care about lifting heavy, six pack abs (never had them- don't want them), or beating any times or setting "personal bests." Really, what I strive for is sustainable consistency. I'd like to think that so far I have achieved that. Not saying I don't challenge myself because I do. In fact, I have my own trainer that I am vulnerable to once a week. My goal he asked when we started..."I don't have one, just give me a good workout," was my answer.
The way I relate to people who struggle with weight loss has also changed. I firmly believe that everyone out there is just trying to do the best they can with what they have and some people may not have the tools or the know how. That's okay! I am here to tell anyone that is reading this that the same way Ashley made herself vulnerable to a person she barely even knew changing her life is the same way you can too.
Your weakness in the end is actually your greatest strength.
