UPGRADE YOUR LIFE

About two weeks ago I wrote about my love to hate-hate to love relationship with my smart phones and now I am back for more! This time reflecting on how limiting some of my activity has really changed my outlook on things.

A few months ago I started joking that I was going to get a flip phone. I even contemplated getting The Light Phone, which I opted not to do, because I didn't just want my calls transferred to a simpler device.  I really just didn't want to be reached in any way shape or form; I wanted more control. I was at my breaking point of always feeling "on demand." I was over it.  I was tired of engaging in conversations that I "shouldn't" be having via text message and tired of the fact that what used to be sent as e-mails were now being sent as text messages and to make matters worse what used to be a phone call was now a voice note. I hate voice notes! Just pick up the phone and call me!!! So frustrating how much our communication has eroded over time due to these "smart devices." They might be smart but sometimes I think we are just dumber.

Anyway, I fully admit that I am still in many ways addicted to my smart phone(s) and that I don't have the self control to just turn on the "do not disturb" option and call it a day.  I mean, our smart devices are designed to keep us constantly on them. You can read about that here. Anyway, I have started to use the "DND" feature but have not fully mastered the art of it. I am after all addicted. Nonetheless, the small adjustment of using "DND" sparingly and even just turning off most of my notifications made me think about how much has changed.

Ten or twelve years ago I would have never thought to send someone a message after 10pm for fear of waking them up. Now, people send text messages at all hours of the day. I am guilty of doing it and receiving messages at odd hours of the day/night, but I do think twice when sending; I didn't before.  The questions I ask myself: "Do I really need to send this now? Can it wait for the morning? Can it wait for Monday? Is this necessary???

I get e-mails now on the weekend and I ask myself whether it's really necessary for me to respond or initiate conversation on the weekend.  It is after all the weekend! If whatever it is can't be solved then and there it can wait. That's how I think now. It's called establishing boundaries or re-establishing boundaries. I feel like they used to exist and somehow they all got blurred by these technological advances. I let them get blurred- I take ownership. 

Then I think if this is how I feel and I am a thirty seven year old adult then how do our children feel? What are we doing to our kids by exposing them to this angst of always having to be connected. What's the point? Do kids REALLY need a smart phone? This piece here says that young adults spend more than six hours per day feeling stressed out. That is just beyond alarming.

I don't have kids but I get to see my friends who have kids tackle this on. I read an article in The Washington Post titled: Breaking Up With Your Smartphone Is Really, Really Hard. Just Ask These People, that further made me think about what we are doing to our youth.  There are long-term ramifications to this constant state of being "on demand." I am an example of that, but I also started using smart devices as a young adult not as a child.  It pains me to think that any child at any age could feel any sense of anxiety over a phone. I suppose it's a matter of finding balance, whatever that is. But still...

I feel that in many ways life was simpler back in the day, and of course I sound like an old person saying this, but it's true. Now we are having digital detoxes, people feeling "phantom vibrations," and demand for devices like The Light Phone.

I wonder about where we are headed as a society and especially our kids.  I for one, did upgrade my life, and did get myself a flip phone. I used it once or maybe even twice, and remember looking at it as if I needed to check it constantly, when there was nothing to check. No one really had the number! No apps to constantly check- why do I keep pulling this thing out? I will tell you why...because I am an addict.

So first step is admit you have a problem. Next step?!? Well, I am doing better about not answering any type of messages right away; or feeling like I need to. Turned off notifications, using "DND" more often...Sometimes I leave the phones behind and for those moments where I really just want to disconnect but want a way to get a hold of someone should something happen I have my handy flip phone. 

I haven't completely upgraded my life, because I feel like a 100% upgrade would mean I wouldn't be addicted. Finding that balance is always going to be a struggle however, being more aware means that I am on the right path leading to a healthier better version of myself every day. That's all I think we can ask of ourselves each and every day.